idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i may or may not be watching the land before time
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize