What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
