i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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