talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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