It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
