can we get nightvision for the apartment?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
