It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
