fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
