You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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