My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
