doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
