Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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