I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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