New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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