im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
