dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
