He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
