I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
