Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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