You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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