Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize