Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
