so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
