I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize