im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
