I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
