I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
