Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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