Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
