So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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