Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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