told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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