I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
