I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
