dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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