THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
