I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
