Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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