I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
