I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
