If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
