Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
