90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
