Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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