The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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