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Reggie can tackle my bush.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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