I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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