I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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