Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
