so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
