filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
