whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
