First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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