The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
